yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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