The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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