Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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