Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
