he thought i was a dude.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
