I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
