I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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