The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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