Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize