He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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