my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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