apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
