Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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