I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
bring money and cleavage
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
