I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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