This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
