sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
