Me too!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize