I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
