Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
