Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
