i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
