if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
