i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
