This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize