Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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