I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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