Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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