Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
me + whiskey = a bad person
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
