We're facebook friends in real life
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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