I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
