its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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