so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
