i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
