yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
