i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
