this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
