eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
