Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
