I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's always time for handjobs
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
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