She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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