um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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