Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Randomize
