she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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