Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator

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(419): View more from Ohio

having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work

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(443): View more from Maryland

i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Because we had sex in one.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.

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