It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
