My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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