i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
