its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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