You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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