It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
