No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
