i can't believe i had my finger in that
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
