I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Even my vagina gasped.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
