I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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