i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Come on in and take your pants off
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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