as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
