if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
