So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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