okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
