that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
