I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
