I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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