He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
