hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
