Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
